Changes

Life after we said goodbye to Eric have been strange and at times overwhelming.  Today would have been Eric’s  birthday.  We would normally wake up early and wake him up with the birthday guy singing happy birthday and then start the day. We would play the birthday song as much as possible during the day and the last time at bedtime.  Today John and I knew we had to play the birthday song.  I finally got the courage about 8:00pm.  We played the song for Eric and cried.

Going out to eat is different too.  We do not have to decide what to eat before we get to the restaurant.   Then order as soon as we sit down. We can actually look at the menu and possibly try something different. There have been times when we look at each other thinking that we have to hurry up and eat so we can take over Eric care.  Then it dawns on us that Eric has said his final goodbye to us.  We take a deep breath and comment on how strange this all is.  Then relax a bit.

Another time I  remembered how I used to knit scarfs while sitting on a rock at the end of the driveway.  Thinking about how much Eric loved to ride the bus with Don, the bus driver. That memory left me smiling for hours.

Also I  don’t know how I managed it but I kept to my eating plan while Eric was in hospice. I managed to exercise and eat right.  Now I am down another size.  I will have a lot of clothing going to Goodwill. I do not have any pants in the next size down and will need to go  shopping.  Thank goodness I have the technology for that. I just need a good body day.

My need to create is slowly coming back. I have a hand knit shawl with hand spun yarn almost finished. I also have a scarf on the loom, that is also halfway done. I hope to work down my back log.

I could have not done any of this without you and you support. So a huge thank you.

Goodbye

 On Friday we said goodbye to our much loved son and brother, Eric. Eric was diagnosed with ML4 at a very young age, but we never let a diagnosis define our son or our family.  Instead we choose to teach Eric and his older sister Teri to embrace life and live it to the fullest.

Living life to the fullest for us meant exploring and enjoying the world, no matter what. And it meant finding things we all could enjoy as a family. It meant exploring museums where Eric could roll around freely without limits. And while he couldn’t always make out the details, Eric always loved being surrounded by the rich colors and sounds.

It meant family trips to Disneyland where Eric loved celebrating his Birthday. Eric loved birthdays so much. But above all else, at Disneyland we could be like any other family and enjoy the rides and deserts together.  Eric especially loved the rides where he could roll right on in his wheelchair. 

Eric also loved food, particularly pancakes.  Eric and his grandpa Al loved going to IHOP for their pancakes.  Grandpa Al would hand us his cane and take charge of Eric’s wheelchair so that they could get the perfect pancake table.

Eric’s favorite place by far though was in the pool, particularly the Hilton hotel in Phoenix because of the pancakes and the lazy river. In the pool Eric could move freely. The warm water always felt good to him, and he always disliked getting out. Actually that was true for both of our children, and John and I had quite the job wrangling both kids unhappily out of the pool. 

However, as hard as we tried, over the years Eric’s world became smaller, and he lost the ability to do more and more things. But he never lost his incredible smile or his innate ability to make the other around him feel better. He even collected tabs for Ronald McDonald house to help out other kids who were sick. We will continue to collect tabs in his memory because he had not yet reached his goal of collecting a million tabs. Tabs can also be dropped off at 2155 East Allen Road in Eric's name. And he was always there for his friends to hold their hands and help them.

Eric was an incredible son and brother, and we all feel so lucky to have had him in our lives. 

If you would like to do something in Eric’s memory, we ask that you consider donating to the ML4 Foundation, the Taglit Special Needs Program at the Tucson JCC or the Ronald MacDonald House. If you can’t donate, please consider just doing something nice for someone else.

A Good Day

This is a good day to get the walkway repaired.  We probably should have done it sooner, but it will be finished today, hopefully.

Filing My Circular Knitting Neddles

This was the mess that had to be filed by size this morning.  Yes, this is the pile of knitting needles that I have used since Teri’s last visit.  I usually drop them in the front of the drawer or on top of the filing box.  I am usually so interested in starting the next knitting project that I don’t always fully put everything back in place.  The job took less than 20 minutes and will not have to be done any time soon.

All my current projects are in bags with patterns, knitting needles, yarn and the kitchen sink.  I wonder if John can 3D print small kitchen sinks?  Just a little more sorting and a few things left to put away.  Then it will be dust, polish and vacuum time.  Then my craft room will become our guest room.

Feeling Better

I am finally feeling better, but will take tomorrow slow.  The cold has left me stiff with that clogged up feeling.  I am hoping a few minutes of late night yoga will help get things loosen up and able to sleep.

I was sick for 3 full days so I expect to be behind for at least 6 days.  As my dad use to say “Don’t worry everything will get done when it was meant to get done and not on your schedule.” I think I will follow his  advice this week.

Please stay safe and try to have a fantastic day.

Still sick

I spent the day trying to sleep off this cold. I got more sleep today than in an average night.  This cold is leaving me a little light headed so I think I will skip driving tomorrow unless I feel 100% better tomorrow.

I did manage to gather some laundry and do one load but that was exhausting today.

To tell you how hard this cold hit I have not picked up my knitting needles or gone through withdrawals from not knitting.  I think that I will try to get more sleep now.

Not Thrilled

Right now I am not thrilled with the person who was out and about with a cold and sore throat.  I would like to say thank you for screwing up our week. It is very rude too leave the house when you are sick.

My personal Public Service Announcement. If you are sick please stay home until you are feeling better.

I can not do my job of taking care of Eric when I am sick, he is a little to fragile for that.  I can not get my errands done either. I am basically in a holding pattern until I feel better.  Eric will also not be able to get mommy hugs and kisses either.