Grief and Loss

 This week is going to be hard.  It’s been a year and 1 day since we lost Eric.  Today is the one year anniversary of his funeral.  In five days it would have been his 31st birthday.  Although we tended to celebrate Eric’s birthday all month long and when ever we went somewhere special.  I am not sure how the week will go, but my goal is to try to stay in the now and not eat my way through my grief.  I also plan on a lot of walking. So far so good on the eating and walking front.  

Since stress makes my arthritis worse and I still have 6 weeks before I can try knitting again.  I know that I can spin and weave but I might not have any creative mojo this week. I just might go on a cleaning and de stashing spree.  So a few people might just get some calls to pick up some crafting supplies.  I am sure that you won’t mind. I just don’t know about you’re families will like it  

If you are so inclined to remember Eric a donation in his memory would be most appreciated.  The first that I would like to suggest is www.ML4.org as they are continuing to do research on this disease that turned my family upside down.  ML4 was Eric’s primary diagnosis. The second  is your local community food bank, like all kids with ML4 Eric loved to eat.  Eric also loved making donation runs around Thanksgiving every year.  We would fill up the van with a donation that Eric would hand off while I slipped in a check.  He was delighted when the volunteers remembered his name and that he like to hand them the food. 

I will miss his smile this week and his delight in having the birthday guy sing happy birthday. Eric might be gone physically, but he is not forgotten. I love him to the moon and back. 

Goodbye

 On Friday we said goodbye to our much loved son and brother, Eric. Eric was diagnosed with ML4 at a very young age, but we never let a diagnosis define our son or our family.  Instead we choose to teach Eric and his older sister Teri to embrace life and live it to the fullest.

Living life to the fullest for us meant exploring and enjoying the world, no matter what. And it meant finding things we all could enjoy as a family. It meant exploring museums where Eric could roll around freely without limits. And while he couldn’t always make out the details, Eric always loved being surrounded by the rich colors and sounds.

It meant family trips to Disneyland where Eric loved celebrating his Birthday. Eric loved birthdays so much. But above all else, at Disneyland we could be like any other family and enjoy the rides and deserts together.  Eric especially loved the rides where he could roll right on in his wheelchair. 

Eric also loved food, particularly pancakes.  Eric and his grandpa Al loved going to IHOP for their pancakes.  Grandpa Al would hand us his cane and take charge of Eric’s wheelchair so that they could get the perfect pancake table.

Eric’s favorite place by far though was in the pool, particularly the Hilton hotel in Phoenix because of the pancakes and the lazy river. In the pool Eric could move freely. The warm water always felt good to him, and he always disliked getting out. Actually that was true for both of our children, and John and I had quite the job wrangling both kids unhappily out of the pool. 

However, as hard as we tried, over the years Eric’s world became smaller, and he lost the ability to do more and more things. But he never lost his incredible smile or his innate ability to make the other around him feel better. He even collected tabs for Ronald McDonald house to help out other kids who were sick. We will continue to collect tabs in his memory because he had not yet reached his goal of collecting a million tabs. Tabs can also be dropped off at 2155 East Allen Road in Eric's name. And he was always there for his friends to hold their hands and help them.

Eric was an incredible son and brother, and we all feel so lucky to have had him in our lives. 

If you would like to do something in Eric’s memory, we ask that you consider donating to the ML4 Foundation, the Taglit Special Needs Program at the Tucson JCC or the Ronald MacDonald House. If you can’t donate, please consider just doing something nice for someone else.