Changes

Life after we said goodbye to Eric have been strange and at times overwhelming.  Today would have been Eric’s  birthday.  We would normally wake up early and wake him up with the birthday guy singing happy birthday and then start the day. We would play the birthday song as much as possible during the day and the last time at bedtime.  Today John and I knew we had to play the birthday song.  I finally got the courage about 8:00pm.  We played the song for Eric and cried.

Going out to eat is different too.  We do not have to decide what to eat before we get to the restaurant.   Then order as soon as we sit down. We can actually look at the menu and possibly try something different. There have been times when we look at each other thinking that we have to hurry up and eat so we can take over Eric care.  Then it dawns on us that Eric has said his final goodbye to us.  We take a deep breath and comment on how strange this all is.  Then relax a bit.

Another time I  remembered how I used to knit scarfs while sitting on a rock at the end of the driveway.  Thinking about how much Eric loved to ride the bus with Don, the bus driver. That memory left me smiling for hours.

Also I  don’t know how I managed it but I kept to my eating plan while Eric was in hospice. I managed to exercise and eat right.  Now I am down another size.  I will have a lot of clothing going to Goodwill. I do not have any pants in the next size down and will need to go  shopping.  Thank goodness I have the technology for that. I just need a good body day.

My need to create is slowly coming back. I have a hand knit shawl with hand spun yarn almost finished. I also have a scarf on the loom, that is also halfway done. I hope to work down my back log.

I could have not done any of this without you and you support. So a huge thank you.