Frustrated

I am feeling so overwhelmed lately. It seems to me that Eric has been having a lot of sick days and down days with no program. Before I can even recoup from the last time, it seems that he is sick or off from program yet again. I have fallen asleep 5 days in a row on the couch before Eric. Thank goodness John is there to pick up my slack and getting Eric ready for sleep.

The holidays start tomorrow night. The house is not cleaned nor is a holiday dinner in the planning stages, although I did remember to order the challah. I did manage to do something for the holidays. To tell you the truth and I know this sounds so bad, but I would be happy cooking frozen fish and chips for dinner tomorrow. This has left me feeling angry at myself for being such a wimp. I get angry at myself for not setting the perfect holiday table and spending days cooking just the right things. This is not how to run a proper household. I am just tired and worn out.  I know that today or tomorrow I will find the energy to make my way to the market. I think I can get away with making a small roast, golden carrots and a kugel for 2. This is all the cooking I can muster myself to do.

Did I also mention that the deconstruction on the kitchen starts in 12 days and I have the 3/4's of the kitchen left to pack. Eric does not go back to program until Wednesday. Did I mention that I am not 30 anymore, I seemed to handle things so much better with little or no sleep back then. I know that this is my very tired self talking, but right now I do not see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I am hoping for a happier and healthier New Year, with more sleep. In case I don't blog tomorrow, I am going to wish everyone and Happy and Healthy New Year. La Shana Tova.

Happy Passover

I would like to wish everyone a Happy Passover. If you happen to celebrate Easter, please enjoy your holiday too. I think. With that out of the way. Eric has a LRI and with no day program tomorrow the best we can hope for is a Wednesday back to everything day. I am mostly over the cold that Eric shared with me. Although the flare up has started.

I did manifest destiny shopping for the holidays today. Yes just 6 hours before the start of Passover I was at Safeway looking for the things I needed for Passover. The result is that I bought a lot less, do to the fact most of my favorites were gone. Along with 2 of the 4 special tables. So no Passover coffee cake for breakfast this year. John said that it was probably healthier that way. My favorite macaroons and egg kichel cookies were gone too. I guess we will eat a fairly normal diet this week sans the leavened items.

I will be modifying our holiday dinner this year. With Eric sick and just the 2 of us eating we will not be doing a Seder. However I will still take time to read the Hagadah. Yes I think that was where we were at last year at this time too. I did however make charossets with John's help. Although he said that he would deny that he took Teri's job from her. I have also made a roast with potatoes, carrots onion and celery. John is getting so good in the kitchen, he now knows what size to cut the vegetables for a particular dish. I love spending time in the kitchen with John, he has brought the fun back to cooking. He on the other hand thinks I just like to make more messes.

In the I can't believe that it actually happened category. Teri's shawl is now in the hands of the post office. I also mailed another package today, I could not believe that the postage cost more then the yarn costs to knit my portion of a memorial quilt. This has got to be one for the books.

Well it is time to go take some yarn off the spinning wheel before dinner.