Frustrated

I am feeling so overwhelmed lately. It seems to me that Eric has been having a lot of sick days and down days with no program. Before I can even recoup from the last time, it seems that he is sick or off from program yet again. I have fallen asleep 5 days in a row on the couch before Eric. Thank goodness John is there to pick up my slack and getting Eric ready for sleep.

The holidays start tomorrow night. The house is not cleaned nor is a holiday dinner in the planning stages, although I did remember to order the challah. I did manage to do something for the holidays. To tell you the truth and I know this sounds so bad, but I would be happy cooking frozen fish and chips for dinner tomorrow. This has left me feeling angry at myself for being such a wimp. I get angry at myself for not setting the perfect holiday table and spending days cooking just the right things. This is not how to run a proper household. I am just tired and worn out.  I know that today or tomorrow I will find the energy to make my way to the market. I think I can get away with making a small roast, golden carrots and a kugel for 2. This is all the cooking I can muster myself to do.

Did I also mention that the deconstruction on the kitchen starts in 12 days and I have the 3/4's of the kitchen left to pack. Eric does not go back to program until Wednesday. Did I mention that I am not 30 anymore, I seemed to handle things so much better with little or no sleep back then. I know that this is my very tired self talking, but right now I do not see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I am hoping for a happier and healthier New Year, with more sleep. In case I don't blog tomorrow, I am going to wish everyone and Happy and Healthy New Year. La Shana Tova.