Frustrated

I am feeling so overwhelmed lately. It seems to me that Eric has been having a lot of sick days and down days with no program. Before I can even recoup from the last time, it seems that he is sick or off from program yet again. I have fallen asleep 5 days in a row on the couch before Eric. Thank goodness John is there to pick up my slack and getting Eric ready for sleep.

The holidays start tomorrow night. The house is not cleaned nor is a holiday dinner in the planning stages, although I did remember to order the challah. I did manage to do something for the holidays. To tell you the truth and I know this sounds so bad, but I would be happy cooking frozen fish and chips for dinner tomorrow. This has left me feeling angry at myself for being such a wimp. I get angry at myself for not setting the perfect holiday table and spending days cooking just the right things. This is not how to run a proper household. I am just tired and worn out.  I know that today or tomorrow I will find the energy to make my way to the market. I think I can get away with making a small roast, golden carrots and a kugel for 2. This is all the cooking I can muster myself to do.

Did I also mention that the deconstruction on the kitchen starts in 12 days and I have the 3/4's of the kitchen left to pack. Eric does not go back to program until Wednesday. Did I mention that I am not 30 anymore, I seemed to handle things so much better with little or no sleep back then. I know that this is my very tired self talking, but right now I do not see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I am hoping for a happier and healthier New Year, with more sleep. In case I don't blog tomorrow, I am going to wish everyone and Happy and Healthy New Year. La Shana Tova.

Busy as a Bee

I think that I have too much on my plate right now. I feel that I am burning the candle in too many places at once.  I think that this had made it difficult for me to get a really good nights sleep.  Which in turn has made progress fall behind schedule. 

We are also looking at redoing the kitchen. Just the wood choices are enough to drive me crazy.  At one place alder wood is the lowest cost wood and at another it is the highest priced wood.  Most offer fiber board cabinets with wood exteriors. Some offer solid wood cabinets and doors.  The pricing makes no sense to me.  At least I have the oven and dishwasher picked out. Picking out wood is like picking a new fridge, there were less choices 21 years ago when I picked out the last fridge.  

Well I will try to sleep tonight.  

I am Overwhelmed

I agreed to do a project on a very short time frame. I knew going in that it was going to be nearly impossible to finish without someone else helping with the sewing. With any luck at all, I think I should reach about 75% completion by my dead line. I feel really bad that some very good people will be given IOU's,but then again I don't think that I can sit at the sewing machine for another 8+ hours again tomorrow.  

Today I left the sewing room ready to throw the sewing machine out of the window. John in a perfect way that only John can do, ushered me out of the sewing room and closed the door for the night. Then redirected me towards dinner.  The chicken and roasted vegetables were even better the second night.   I am so glad that the asprain kicked in before bed time. 

I think tomorrow I will limit myself to no more than 4 hours at the sewing machine.  I tried the impossible today and did not make it.  My body is worse for wear. I think it's time to rein in my goal to be more realistic. My body and family will thank me. 

Lesson learned from this fiscaso. If I think a job will take 3 weeks, ask for 3 weeks.  Never say that I will try to get it done in 1 week. It's just bad in so many ways.