Better Today

My body is so fond of reminding me if it's not 30 anymore. Take yesterday for instance, my workday started off at 3:30 AM and did not finish till 10 PM. Because Eric was sick it was a very physically intense day for me. Today my body is reminding me of that. Around lunchtime today my body said it's naptime.

At least Eric is feeling better today. So I spent some time playing catchup around the house. I also started a new wool charity hat while I was sitting with Eric. The down side of stash busting is the little odds and ends of yarn accumulate so quickly. The good news is that they make perfect colorful hats for kids. The wool bag is overflowing right now so 2 or 3 hats should solve that problem.

And Repeat

Eric's post viral asthma kick in with vengeance. I feel very tired after being up since 3:30am and spending most of the day helping him sit up to keep his airway clear.  I have not even gotten through the mountain of laundry that he made since last night. I feel so tired and discouraged because I could not make him feel better today.

If tomorrow starts off like today we will be heading to the doctors. I  am hoping for a much better night tonight and a better day tomorrow. I hope everyone else had a much better day.

I can Not Unwind

Eric is feeling better and sleeping, he will go to program tomorrow. I on the other hand can not unwind enough to go to sleep. This is following the usual pattern. So I will listen to some music and hope that it will be enough to to go to sleep.

For almost 24 hours my soul focus has been Eric and I am having trouble shifting back to me. In the past 24 hours I have missed a going away party for Scott Z. who got a great promotion. I missed sitting around with friends just sitting, chatting and knitting. I seem to miss so much when Eric is not feeling well. There just seems to be no balance in my life.

I never wanted to be a nurse when I was growing up. Yet I seem to have spent a large part of the last 3 decades doing just that. Life can be so strange sometimes. My kids have taken me places that I would have never thought of going or doing and for that I thank them.

The Roller Coaster of Life

Eric's MTBF really sucks now. We are back to 7 days. I don't even think a failure review board could help with this. The only thing that made Eric happy tonight was that he made a full load of laundry for me tonight

This is why I run as many errands as possible when Eric is feeling well. I even got to the grocery store today. My plans for tomorrow went into the the blender tonight. I guess it really does not matter when I give friends their holiday gifts, it's he thought that matters. Right?

To end on the bright side tonight Eric got to deliver a chemo cap this morning to a friend for her brother and got all the hugs and kisses for it. Yes, he did go to program today and even got the second highest score in bowling.

Eric Was Sick Again

Eric got sick Monday morning on the way to his day program. This has meant 2 to 3 loads of laundry a day of just Eric's clothes and bedding. That laundry does not include John's and my clothes either.  A lot of very long days taking care of him, which has lead to a lot of anxiety on my part. I should be use to this by now.

Eric is finely feeling better and is back on formula. He may even go back to his program today.  I have gotten so tired and stressed this time, that my skin actually hurts. Worse yet for me is that it makes it very hard to catch up on sleep. So in the wee hours of Thursday morning here I sit trying to convince my body that the stress is gone and I should be sleeping. It is not working out very well.

Well I am going to try to go and get some sleep. 6 am comes very fast around here.

Night Time Pain

There is nothing quite like being up in the middle of the night with arthritis pain. Then having to take care of Eric before the aspirin kicks in. Eric was half asleep and still tried to give me hugs to make my hands feel better. It almost makes up for not being able to sleep.

A Rough Week

Eric was sick all last week. He even shared the cold and aftermath with me. Poor John has been trying to keep up with 2 very cranky people. Even with the larger washer, Eric has managed to make 2 pretty full loads of laundry a day. Thank goodness for Eric's aides, they have been doing all the folding. I don't know if my hand is up to that much work yet.

I am really hoping that Eric will be back at program sometime this week. When he is at home sick this much, my world feels a lot smaller. I swear that my world can not get that much smaller or I might just fade into oblivion.

My left hand is a little better. I have been able to use it between 30 minutes and 2 hours on most days. I can say for certain that the arthritis flare up post cold is not helping the recovery process in the least. At least 2 out of the 3 fingers are almost, well at least 50% healed. The ring finger is another story. I am really working to get my left hand fully functional again. It will make my life so much easier and neater. I would really like to know, say before a meal, if my hand will work all the way through the meal.

I am hoping that Eric is not real clingy today. Yes I just noticed that it is 12:40 and it is time for a nap before I start my day with Eric in a few hours. By the way, it is getting easier to type too. Not a lot of mistakes. I can even reach for some of the keys.

My goal for the coming week is to have a better week and get a lot of crafting and cleaning done.

Day 14

I would like to start out by quashing the rumors that Eric is in the hospital.  No, he has been home the entire 2 weeks with the exception of Tuesday's doctors appointment.  This has been very difficult cold for both John and Eric.  The medicine seems to be working with Eric, and his numbers are slowly getting better. 

I did not got a lot of spinning done today. I mostly finished plying yesterday's yarn. I washed and thwacked about a pound of hand spun yarn today.  I also got a set of coasters off the very mini loom today and had more leftover hand spun wool so I started another set. All I have to do is the finishing work tomorrow.  It's getting late so I will call it a night.  

Day 13

Today is day 13 of Eric being home sick.  The good news is that he is starting to feel better.  John still needs to kick this cold. So I spent the day spinning. I managed to spin 8 ounces of wool today.  I am in the middle of plying the yarn now.  

With all that spinning I am surprised that I did not kick the headache that woke me up at 4 am. Usually I find spinning very relaxing. I hope that this headache is gone by tomorrow.  I think it might be do to both guys being sick and me not getting enough sleep. I need to get everything back in control in the house.  

Sleep is Good

Eric and I had a laid back day. Lisa sent extra help so I got a nice long nap.  I even had enough energy after the nap to tackle a few chores and do some spinning tonight for the Tour de Fleece. I will wash and thwack it tomorrow. 

An Unwelcome Guest

Today makes the arrival of a very unwelcome guest in our home.  Eric's cold of 10 days has turned into a secondary infection and all that goes along with it. Right now I am waiting to run the first load of eyrpy laundry to finish so that I can start the second load before bed tonight.  I am hoping that Eric sleeps tonight. 

I have not had much energy for spinning in the Tour de Fleece today, I only spun 2/3's of a 4 ounce braid. I did manage to get 2 of the 3 skeins I spun yesterday soaked and thwacked.  They are drying in the garage tonight. The birds living on the patio don't like the sound of thwacking and fly away as soon as they hear me coming outside.  I am trying to keep up with the soaking and thwacking of the newly spun yarn so that at the end of the month I am not left with an overflowing sink of yarn that needs finishing.  

To tell you how tired I am. John asked what I wanted for dinner tonight and I asked for a half of a roast beef sandwich. He came in the door and announced that instead of mayo on my sandwich, he had them put on soy sauce. My reaction was, oh well I will just try something new, heck I might even like it. I was too tired to noticed that he pick up my 2 favorite dishes from my favorite Chinese restaurant, China Phoenix. I have got a very wonderful husband.  

I plan on spending the day resting with Eric tomorrow. This run of days with an average of 4 hours of sleep a night is beginning to get to me.  I really don't know if that has to do with giving up cola or not being 30 any more.  All I know is that my body has decided that it needs more sleep.  

Another Long Day

Eric had a very rough night last night, which resulted in 4 loads of laundry today.  It's been a very long time since I did 4 loads of laundry in one day. The good news is that Eric is back on formula tonight. I on the other hand feel very tired. Not much got done today, but that's ok.

I am still managing to go without cola even when Eric is sick. My drink creation today was Moroccan Mint Tea with 1/2 tablespoon of peach syrup per cup. Over ice of course. Not quite the sugar and caffeine rush of cola. Not the same crash either.  I also resisted my early morning urge to bake a coffee cake, just because I did not want to do the clean up. If I am too tired to clean up, then I must be to tired to bake.

I still can not do a lot of creating because of my hands. The less I use them the less they hurt. I am still waiting for the swelling to go all the way down.  I did not touch any knitting needles today. This is bad because I am in a very creative period and feel as if I am sitting on my hands. I also use the summer to do a lot of my charity knitting, to read lots of small projects like hats and scarfs for kids. I also have a few new designs that I am in the middle of knitting. As a result, I am bored and playing too many video games.

I think I am also going to try a different haircut that is not as fussy as the one I currently have. With my current hair cut I either have to blow dry it or fall asleep for a few hours then brush it out to make it look good. I want to go back to comb, fluff and go. 

Tuesday's Unplanned Day

Today started at 5:30 am with Eric not feeling well.  That of course threw my plans for the day in the blender.  So I spent the day bouncing around between Taking care of Eric, laundry, cleaning and spinning.  

Talking about spinning, I finally finished the very soft and pretty 15 micron merino wool dyed by my friend Jimmy.  It was the first yarn that came off my spinning wheel since the December 7, 2015 car accident.  I guess it shows that I am making progress on the road to recovery, albeit very slowly. 

A Couple of Words

Eric is not a kid who uses many spoken words. So I thought that I would share his latest gem. We we both napping after the long stint of being awake when Eric was sick.

I was just waking up from my nap when Eric said,

"I'm alive"

I just wish I knew what the rest of the thought was about. I just can not prompt Eric to talk when he does not want to or can not manage speech.

What I need is someone to invent a machine that translates thoughts into the spoke word. Any takers?

A very Long Day

Eric got sick right before bedtime last night. It was a very long and eyrpy night. On the bright side as of bedtime tonight he is back on formula. I also worked on a bag of UFO yarn, finishing 1 charity hat and starting another. I will finish all the projects in this bag first.  I have decided that I need to knit or redisposition the yarn to other projects in any project bag that I pick up. This is so that I don't have bags full of yarn 6 months from now with no plans or pattern attached.

I managed to get all the eyrpy laundry washed. I have decided not to fold the laundry today. As long as it is clean folding the laundry was not an issue today.

I am sorry if this blog is choppy but I have been up almost 40 hours and am really feeling tired. With a little sleep tonight all will be better in the morning.

Ranting Again

My day was going really well then....

The formula supply company just called and is trying to change the formula AGAIN to save money. At least they were upfront about it this time. I thought we had this resolved. They even acknowledged that they have the doctors script. We have to try at least a partial case before we can say no. I swear that Amazon may become our formula supplier if this keeps up. Then bill the health insurance company for what they are required to pay for by state law. They don't care about Eric at all. Just their @#%$#@# contract and nickle and dimeing the patients to keep their bottom line. If they can not break even on on the contract that they bid on, then maybe they should not have bid so low on the contract with the insurance company. Or, maybe the insurance companies should give the companies a reasonable operating budget over the cost of supplies. Either way they need to put Eric first.

Asking us to try another formula that might possibly do Eric harm is beyond the scope of my thinking right now. We have just gotten him almost back on his feet from the last formula fiasco. What makes a bunch of bean counters and paper pushers think that they know Eric as well as his doctors. Just because something is similar does not mean that it alike and will work the same. Just think about the possibility of of using oranges instead of apples in an apple cobbler, they are both fruit so it should work, right? I really like the comment that even though it is not listed on the label this new formula has fiber, right what about FDA labeling regulations?

So I talked it over with John. We decided that the best course of action was to call back and ask for everything in writing. I was put on hold for a few minutes. They came back and said the formula change was just a" suggestion". I decided to go with what the doctor ordered and long story short, they will continue to send out the formula that the doctor ordered. I now feel like a wet rag. I think that I will spin for a while to get back to my center. Then spend the evening knitting after dinner.

Things are Better

Things are going better with Eric. Long story short, the insurance company and provider changed the script and formulation of Eric's nutrition to save the insurance company money and prove that the provider was willing to do anything including compromise the health of its patients to keep the newly acquired contract.   After a very small dust up with Eric's nutrition provider, an order of formula from Amazon with next day delivery and some back and forth with Eric's wonderful doctor and the provider of nutrition,things have been resolved.  

We are almost through the first case of formula that I ordered from Amazon.  I am thankful that I was able to get what Eric needed very badly, overnight.  Amazon thank you for you help in this matter.  

Eric has woken up happy and smiling for the last 2 days. He has slept through the night for the last 2 nights.  Now I have to start sleeping through the night again.  His skin color is back to normal.  He has more energy. He is back to being the life of the party at program.  

I am very thankful for all my friends who gave me such wonderful support during this crisis.  I really can't adaquility  put in words what it meant to me.  Thank you all. 

No Caffeine

Around 2:30 this morning Eric started eyrping. I must say that the LG washer handled all 3 loads with ease.  I also had my first Eric sick day without soda. It was a very long day.  I missed the sugar and caffeine rush that kept me going.  I did not even have energy to knit. The good news is that the eyrping has stopped and all that I have to deal with is the cold de jour tomorrow.  

Eric and I will be home again tomorrow and I will need to cancel one appointment.  I will also have to write and finish knitting my Thursday's class. It's a good thing that I love modular knitting and know a decent amount about modular knitting.  

My biggest hope that Eric sleeps tonight.  

A First Today

Eric had a very rocky start to his day and almost came home from program today 5 minutes after we got there. So I sat and knit for a while, not wanting to drive home and turn right back to pick him up. After about an hour he got settled in. I decided to say later to the errands on my list and came home to ice my back and rest. The world was not going to end if I did not get to Costco for Vanilla Soy milk or drop of the clothes at the dry cleaners. I think it helped my back a lot to rest.

As you know Eric feels it is his job to do laundry to keep me busy. I wore out the old whirlpool after 25 years of use. We then got an LG washer. Since we have gotten the LG washer, I have not come close to filling it to capacity until today. Today I filled it to the top and had laundry left over. I was very surprised to say the least. Thank goodness one of Eric's aides is putting it all in the dryer and doing the folding. my back is not quite up to that. I also don't want to hit John with that the moment he walks in the door.

I am hoping that John will pick up the Salmon Sandwiches (it is the Friday special) for dinner from Beyond Bread tonight so that I can ice my back and rest some more instead of cooking dinner. I may just finish a scarf for me if I have the energy tonight.

Its time to go ice my back.

My Name is Toast

I picked up the bug du jour last week, which started with a 4 day headache and then moved down. I have spent the last 2 days sleeping hoping that it will help me get over this bug. I was hoping for another solid day of sleeping tomorrow. Eric had other plans, he just started throwing up. I gently suggested to him that tomorrow would be a day of sleep and he just glared at me. Lisa suggested that he take care of himself and he shoot that dagger glare. I have decided that I will be over this by Thursday, I sure hope that my body listens to me.

If you want to join the party here tomorrow just bring Pedilyte and Lemonade. Also I declare tomorrow will be another laundry is like fine wine day. No laundry shall be folded before its time. Even though it's after 8 pm I expect to get 2 loads of laundry washed tonight.

Wish me luck for tomorrow.