Feeling Inscure

I am feeling a bit insecure today about my weight. I know that I am down 3 dress sizes, since I gave up high fructose corn syrup, aspartame and the maid.  I know that I am wearing clothes that I have not worn since Teri was a Junior at the UofA, six years ago.  Has it really been that long? I know that with the exception of 1 spot that I am toned. I am also sure that will continue to slim down too.

Then why do I let myself be upset by one jerk who points out to his entire group at the supermarket the "fat lady over there". I know it would make no difference to a jerk like that to tell him he was rude, lacked basic manners and that I was down 3 dress sizes. He should have said something when I was really fat and out of shape.  I am now a member of the tucked in shirt gang for some of my outfits, including the one I wore today.

I worked really hard to get to this point. I know that I still am not perfect and never will be. I am just trying to be the best me that I can be. I should not be defined by my weight. That is so shallow. Or my inability to stay on a diet when I have found out life style changes are more important. I am a good wife and mother. I run a chaotic house with very few hiccups. I am a pretty good cook, but not perfect. I can spin a decent skein of yarn. I am a skilled knitter. I can write a basic knitting pattern. Give me a piece of fabric and I can come up with something original. I have a lot of good qualities so why do I let jerks still get to me?

My goal for tomorrow is to brush the crumbs off and go onward and upward.  And just to be on the safe side add a little knitting,spinning and cleaning.

Maybe Busy, Maybe Not

Friday

I am not sure I should be this tired and achy tonight.  Yes I was active today.  I walked 6 miles, pushed Eric around the mall for 1 hour and 20 minutes, cleaned for 2 hours and went to knitting. John procured dinner tonight.  So it can't be the cooking.  I will have to think about this.  

Eric had a really good day until bed time. We hung out together today. He was full of smiles for everyone except for the one knitter who forgot to engage her brain before talking. So my request for the coming year is that we all think before we talk.  Please don't just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.  What comes to mind here is an old proverb that my dad liked.  "Speak softly, for you never know which words you will have to eat tomorrow."

I am going to try sleep now and hope that Eric sleeps through the night.  I hope that the eyrps have stopped for the night.

Saturday

Well I got an hours sleep before I was up with Eric for the rest of the night. I woke John up at 6 am so I could take a nap. I then went to Target to get a few more organizers for my latest deep cleaning project. I also took time to walk around the mall to get the kinks out.  Those new organizers got filled relativity fast. I landed up buying one Target out and having John drive to another Target to buy more boxes.

 

Sunday

 

I spent 4 hours cleaning house, doing laundry and deep cleaning before my body said enough for today. I did manage to organize another shelf and empty a laundry basket of things that needed to be put away that were hiding in a closet.

 

 

Getting dressed was another challenge today. The 1st pair of pants fit, but felt a bit snug. The next 3 were way too big and will go to Goodwill. Pair 5 was my lucky number today. They have been in my closet so long that I can not remember when I bought them. I have a lot of clothes in my new size so maybe I can shop my closet for most everything I will need in my new smaller size.

 

I have been losing the weight by eliminating aspartame and high fructose corn syrup. This in itself eliminates a lot of junk food. I have been deep cleaning the house and walking instead of going to the gym. This has been a multi year effort so there are no quick fixes that I can offer. Yes I have gotten discouraged at times, but every time I go down a size I am amazed. I have no set amount of weight I want to lose, I only want to feel better.

 

Well it is time to call it a night.