Pure Joy

Today as I gave 2 of Eric’s Elmo’s to a friend’s grandson I experienced the first pure joyous moment since Eric passed. Ivan had the same pure joy on his face as Eric had when he received them. Ivan was a little afraid that I was going to take them back to Eric, it’s just something that 2 year old’s are not meant to understand. I told Ivan that his job was to hug the Elmo’s and take good care of them for Eric. He then hugged the Elmo’s as I left.

Ivan I know you are much to young to understand what you did for me today.  I hope that some day your mom will show you this.

Thank you so very much Ivan.

Life Does Not Always Bring Joy. Get Over It

The next round of Zenning has begun.  Those around me want me to move faster like the latest television guru. Wildly throwing thing away without thought.  I however will continue to move at my own speed deciding what goes or stays and when.  I am tired of the mindlessly chants if it does not bring you joy it must go.  I think this chant is very pathetic and irritating.  It is worse than the “build the wall” chant of the racist.

Things like laundry don’t bring me joy, but it must be done on an almost daily basis.  I don’t mind the car rides with Eric, but the traffic drives me nuts, but  the almost daily commute must be done. I hate the noise of the percussion machine, but it must be done twice daily. I hate People who don’t pay attention to the road when they are on their cell phone, this does not bring me joy. Yet, I fear that they are here to stay.  The list goes on. All life is not meant to bring joy.  Some days you just have to slog through it.

I think it’s time for this cranky and over tired mom to call it a night.