A Good Day - Kinda of - Also A Rant

I have made some personal progress. I don’t cry every time someone mentions Eric’s name. I am, however, beginning to get annoyed at people who give their condolences in one breath and the very next breath go into a diatribe on everyone that they have lost over their life time and want me to console them. Tell them how sorry that I am for their loss.   Expletive deleted, it has not been a month yet. How in the expletive deleted am I suppose to deal with these people. Is this supposed to make me feel better? Is this just because for some odd reason the nutters find me? Have they not read Miss Manners or Emily Posts chapter on the subject?

Just in case you failed to read either section on manners when giving condolences it is not OK to say you are sorry that I lost my only son and then go on to say my grief is not real or important. If I am not important enough to you to make a little positive comment about Eric, then don’t say anything at all.  There is a time and a place for everything. I know I feel very frayed right now. The fabric of my life has a huge hole in it that can not be mended. I have to find a way to reinforce the fabric without losing the essence of Eric. I just need people to be kind to me or ignore me. Trying to make me sit or stand through xx years of your losses is abusive.

I really try to be kind and caring. Right now I have no reserves left. I am exhausted and know that this is normal. It is a good night when I can sleep through the night. It is a good day when I can get some laundry done or do some errands with out needing a long nap afterwords.  I have a new normal to deal with. Please be patient, this is a difficult part of my journey in life. I don’t know when or if I will ever be my old self again or if it’s time to reinvent myself.

I did promise a bit of good day. So here it is.  Three loads of laundry got done. I delivered 29 pairs of socks from this weeks Zenning to Flowing Wells School District Clothing Bank along with a bag from Barbara.  I did the dishes in the sink before I left for the day. I even folded laundry. So it was a good day.